1 00:00:27,161 --> 00:00:29,139 MAX, IT WAS VERY NICE OF YOU AND 99 2 00:00:29,163 --> 00:00:31,141 TO TAKE ME OUT TO CELEBRATE MY BIRTHDAY. 3 00:00:31,165 --> 00:00:32,809 OH, IT'S NOTHING, CHIEF. 4 00:00:32,833 --> 00:00:35,812 THE CONTROL BAKER MADE YOU A VERY SPECIAL BIRTHDAY CAKE. 5 00:00:35,836 --> 00:00:38,315 - WE HAD IT SENT OVER. - OH, FOR GOODNESS SAKES, 6 00:00:38,339 --> 00:00:42,774 - ISN'T THAT NICE? - PRETTY FANCY, 99. 7 00:00:44,244 --> 00:00:46,422 NOW, LET'S SEE. 8 00:00:46,446 --> 00:00:50,593 "HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHIEF FROM THE GANG AT CONTROL." 9 00:00:50,617 --> 00:00:52,495 I DON'T SEE ANYTHING. 10 00:00:52,519 --> 00:00:54,597 IT'S WRITTEN WITH INVISIBLE ICING. 11 00:00:54,621 --> 00:00:57,400 YOU SEE, CHIEF, WE DIDN'T WANT TO REVEAL YOUR IDENTITY. 12 00:00:57,424 --> 00:01:00,403 AFTER ALL, YOU ARE THE HEAD OF A TOP SECRET ORGANIZATION. 13 00:01:00,427 --> 00:01:02,271 GOOD THINKING, MAX. 14 00:01:02,295 --> 00:01:05,508 OH, THIS MUST BE THE ENTERTAINMENT. 15 00:01:05,532 --> 00:01:07,911 LOOK, CHIEF, THIS SHOULD BE FUN. IT'S A MAGICIAN. 16 00:01:12,573 --> 00:01:14,350 GOOD EVENING, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. 17 00:01:14,374 --> 00:01:17,353 I AM SIEGFRIED THE GREAT. 18 00:01:17,377 --> 00:01:19,355 I AM HERE TONIGHT TO PROVE 19 00:01:19,379 --> 00:01:21,825 THAT THE HAND IS QUICKER 20 00:01:21,849 --> 00:01:24,327 THAN THE EYE. 21 00:01:24,351 --> 00:01:27,263 I WILL PERFORM 22 00:01:27,287 --> 00:01:30,088 AND YOU WILL ENJOY. 23 00:01:42,469 --> 00:01:44,581 I SHALL NOW PERFORM 24 00:01:44,605 --> 00:01:47,250 ONE OF MY MOST BRILLIANT TRICKS. 25 00:01:47,274 --> 00:01:49,652 I NEED A VOLUNTEER FROM THE AUDIENCE. 26 00:01:49,676 --> 00:01:52,722 HOW ABOUT YOU, SIR? YOU LOOK LIKE A MAN 27 00:01:52,746 --> 00:01:54,957 OF IMAGINATION AND DARING. 28 00:01:54,981 --> 00:01:57,093 I THINK HE MEANS ME, CHIEF. 29 00:01:57,117 --> 00:02:00,263 A MAN WHO IS NOT AFRAID TO FACE THE TERRORS 30 00:02:00,287 --> 00:02:02,331 OF THE UNKNOWN. 31 00:02:02,355 --> 00:02:04,967 I THINK HE MEANS YOU, CHIEF. 32 00:02:04,991 --> 00:02:06,736 HAVE SOME FUN. IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY. 33 00:02:06,760 --> 00:02:08,805 NO, 99. I DON'T LIKE TO GET UP IN PUBLIC. 34 00:02:08,829 --> 00:02:11,507 - OH, COME ON. - GO AHEAD, CHIEF. 35 00:02:11,531 --> 00:02:14,945 - YEAH, ALL RIGHT. - JUST STEP UP HERE, PLEASE. 36 00:02:17,237 --> 00:02:20,951 NOW, STEP INSIDE THIS CABINET. 37 00:02:25,378 --> 00:02:29,125 I SHALL NOW MAKE THIS MAN... 38 00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:31,083 DISAPPEAR! 39 00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:34,986 Audience: OH! OOH! 40 00:02:42,863 --> 00:02:46,064 TERRIFIC, 99. REALLY TERRIFIC! 41 00:02:49,203 --> 00:02:52,403 MAX, SOMETHING'S WRONG! 42 00:02:56,844 --> 00:02:59,544 - THEY'RE BOTH GONE, 99. - LOOK, THERE'S A NOTE. 43 00:03:01,615 --> 00:03:04,427 "KAOS HAS YOUR CHIEF. YOU'LL HEAR FROM ME. 44 00:03:04,451 --> 00:03:06,596 - SIEGFRIED THE GREAT." - WE'VE GOT TO GET HIM BACK! 45 00:03:06,620 --> 00:03:08,665 CONTROL WILL BE PARALYZED WITHOUT HIM, MAX. 46 00:03:08,689 --> 00:03:11,234 I KNOW, 99, BUT FIRST WE GOTTA FIND THAT MAGICIAN. 47 00:03:11,258 --> 00:03:14,303 THAT'S JUST AS IMPORTANT. I WANNA QUESTION HIM PERSONALLY. 48 00:03:14,327 --> 00:03:16,039 TO FIND OUT WHAT HE KNOWS ABOUT KAOS? 49 00:03:16,063 --> 00:03:19,031 NO, TO FIND OUT HOW HE DID THIS TRICK. 50 00:04:24,265 --> 00:04:26,576 Carlson: WHAT'S BEING DONE ABOUT THE CHIEF NOW? 51 00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:29,912 WE HAVE EVERY AVAILABLE AGENT OUT LOOKING FOR HIM, PROF. CARLSON. 52 00:04:29,936 --> 00:04:31,648 GEE, 99, I'M REALLY WORRIED ABOUT THE CHIEF. 53 00:04:31,672 --> 00:04:33,717 - I HOPE NOTHING HAS HAPPENED TO HIM. - SO DO I, MAX. 54 00:04:33,741 --> 00:04:35,485 THE CHIEF HAS NEVER DISAPPEARED BEFORE. 55 00:04:35,509 --> 00:04:37,153 WHO'S IN CHARGE OF CONTROL NOW? 56 00:04:37,177 --> 00:04:40,590 DON'T WORRY, STANDISH. IT'S ALL TAKEN CARE OF. 57 00:04:40,614 --> 00:04:44,014 I'VE BEEN PREPARED FOR A SITUATION LIKE THIS. 58 00:04:44,585 --> 00:04:46,696 JUST A MOMENT, SMART. YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO TAKE OVER 59 00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:49,131 - THE CHIEF'S JOB. - AND WHY NOT? 60 00:04:49,155 --> 00:04:50,933 I'M HEAD OF THE AGENT SECTION. 61 00:04:50,957 --> 00:04:52,668 WELL, I'M HEAD OF THE LAB SECTION, 62 00:04:52,692 --> 00:04:54,637 AND STANDISH IS HEAD OF THE ADMINISTRATION SECTION. 63 00:04:54,661 --> 00:04:56,472 AND WE HAVE JUST AS MUCH RIGHT TO BE CHIEF AS YOU DO. 64 00:04:56,496 --> 00:04:58,441 - ESPECIALLY ME! - NOW, WAIT A MINUTE! 65 00:04:58,465 --> 00:05:00,243 HOLD IT, HOLD IT, STANDISH. 66 00:05:00,267 --> 00:05:02,645 WE CAN'T STAND HERE AND ARGUE ABOUT IT ALL DAY. 67 00:05:02,669 --> 00:05:04,480 LET'S STOP THIS BICKERING! 68 00:05:04,504 --> 00:05:07,183 THERE'S A VERY SIMPLE AND INTELLIGENT WAY TO HANDLE THIS THING. 69 00:05:07,207 --> 00:05:09,786 AFTER ALL, THERE ARE OFFICIAL PROCEDURES, YOU KNOW? 70 00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:12,989 - GOOD, MAX. - NOW, THIS IS THE WAY WE'LL HANDLE IT... 71 00:05:13,013 --> 00:05:14,991 I'LL THINK OF A NUMBER FROM ONE TO 10. 72 00:05:15,015 --> 00:05:18,595 NOW, IF EITHER OF YOU GUESS THE NUMBER, YOU ARE CHIEF. 73 00:05:18,619 --> 00:05:22,186 IF YOU DON'T, I'M CHIEF. OKAY... 74 00:05:23,289 --> 00:05:25,390 - STANDISH? - THREE. 75 00:05:26,993 --> 00:05:30,039 RIGHT. LET'S MAKE IT TWO OUT OF THREE. 76 00:05:30,063 --> 00:05:32,975 SMART, SEEMS TO ME THAT ONLY THE CHIEF'S SUPERIOR 77 00:05:32,999 --> 00:05:35,344 CAN TELL US WHO IS IN CHARGE WHILE THE CHIEF IS GONE. 78 00:05:35,368 --> 00:05:37,814 BUT WE DON'T KNOW WHO THE CHIEF'S SUPERIOR IS. 79 00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:40,583 THERE'S ONLY ONE MAN WHO'D KNOW THE CHIEF'S BOSS. 80 00:05:40,607 --> 00:05:43,586 - 99, I'VE GOTTA GO RIGHT TO THE TOP. - MAX, YOU CAN'T CALL HIM. 81 00:05:43,610 --> 00:05:45,543 I'VE GOT TO. 82 00:05:49,082 --> 00:05:51,060 HELLO, THIS IS MAXWELL SMART OF CONTROL. 83 00:05:51,084 --> 00:05:52,728 I'D LIKE TO SPEAK TO... 84 00:05:52,752 --> 00:05:54,730 OH... NO. 85 00:05:54,754 --> 00:05:57,600 NO NO NO NO. DON'T DISTURB HIM. I'LL CALL BACK LATER. 86 00:05:57,624 --> 00:05:59,669 THANK YOU. 87 00:05:59,693 --> 00:06:03,272 CAN'T BOTHER HIM NOW, 99. HE'S HAVING AN EMERGENCY MEETING AT HIS RANCH. 88 00:06:03,296 --> 00:06:07,109 - TOP DIPLOMATIC CONFERENCE, HUH? - NO, IT'S ROUNDUP TIME. 89 00:06:07,133 --> 00:06:10,680 MAX, I KNOW. LET'S CHECK THE SECRET COMPARTMENT IN THE CHIEF'S DESK. 90 00:06:10,704 --> 00:06:13,115 MAYBE THE NAME OF HIS BOSS IS IN THERE. 91 00:06:13,139 --> 00:06:15,117 GOOD IDEA, 99. 92 00:06:28,588 --> 00:06:31,000 IN CASE ANYTHING HAPPENS TO ME, 93 00:06:31,024 --> 00:06:35,805 CONTACT MY SUPERIOR, ZEBRA 6-4-2. 94 00:06:35,829 --> 00:06:39,564 WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO LOOK THIS UP IN THE CHIEF'S SPECIAL CODEBOOKS, 99. 95 00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:43,746 ZEBRA... THAT'S THE BLUE BOOK. 96 00:06:43,770 --> 00:06:45,748 THE BLUE BOOK IS THE ONE WITH THE GREEN COVER. 97 00:06:45,772 --> 00:06:48,584 SINCE WHEN DOES A BLUE BOOK HAVE A GREEN COVER? 98 00:06:48,608 --> 00:06:50,787 MAX WORKED IT OUT WITH THE CODING SECTION. 99 00:06:50,811 --> 00:06:54,757 IN CASE OF A KAOS INFILTRATOR, EVERY BOOK HAS A COVER IDENTITY. 100 00:06:54,781 --> 00:06:56,726 YOU SIMPLY HAVE A COVER FOR A COVER. 101 00:06:56,750 --> 00:07:00,063 IT SAYS, "SEE GREEN BOOK." 102 00:07:00,087 --> 00:07:02,265 THE GREEN BOOK IS THE ONE WITH THE BLUE COVER. 103 00:07:02,289 --> 00:07:04,955 MAX COULDN'T THROW AWAY A PERFECTLY GOOD BOOK COVER. 104 00:07:06,459 --> 00:07:10,273 AH, HERE IT IS. IT LOOKS LIKE IT'S IN CODE. 105 00:07:10,297 --> 00:07:14,544 IT SAYS, "BAKER ABLE. 106 00:07:14,568 --> 00:07:16,546 SEE TELEPHONE BOOK." 107 00:07:16,570 --> 00:07:19,382 WHERE'S THE TELEPHONE BOOK? 108 00:07:19,406 --> 00:07:23,006 THE TELEPHONE BOOK IS RIGHT HERE BY THE TELEPHONE. 109 00:07:23,376 --> 00:07:25,188 ABLE BAKER, ABLE BAKER, 110 00:07:25,212 --> 00:07:27,523 ABLE... UH, HERE IT IS. 111 00:07:27,547 --> 00:07:30,926 THE NAME OF THE CHIEF'S SUPERIOR IS... 112 00:07:30,950 --> 00:07:33,362 - "ABEL BAKER." - CALL HIM, MAX. 113 00:07:33,386 --> 00:07:37,233 MAYBE HE'S CALLING US. 114 00:07:37,257 --> 00:07:39,068 UH, THIS IS MAXWELL SMART. 115 00:07:39,092 --> 00:07:42,605 SMART? SIEGFRIED THE GREAT. 116 00:07:42,629 --> 00:07:44,740 I WILL RETURN YOUR CHIEF, 117 00:07:44,764 --> 00:07:48,411 BUT THERE'S SOMETHING I WANT IN EXCHANGE. 118 00:07:48,435 --> 00:07:50,580 I WOULD LIKE TO MEET WITH YOU. 119 00:07:50,604 --> 00:07:52,248 I'M NOT MEETING YOU WITH YOU, SIEGFRIED, 120 00:07:52,272 --> 00:07:53,916 UNTIL I KNOW THE CHIEF IS ALL RIGHT. 121 00:07:53,940 --> 00:07:55,585 HOW DO I KNOW HE'S STILL ALIVE? 122 00:07:55,609 --> 00:07:58,009 I WILL LET YOU TALK TO HIM. 123 00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:01,958 - HELLO, MAX, THIS IS THE CHIEF. - ARE YOU ALL RIGHT, CHIEF? 124 00:08:01,982 --> 00:08:05,127 - YEAH, I'M ALL RIGHT. - WAIT A MINUTE, HOW DO I KNOW YOU'RE REALLY THE CHIEF? 125 00:08:05,151 --> 00:08:06,929 You could be someone impersonating him. 126 00:08:06,953 --> 00:08:09,465 - MAX! - IT'S THE CHIEF ALL RIGHT. 127 00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:13,058 MAX, DON'T BARGAIN WITH KAOS. I'M EXPENDABLE. MY LIFE... 128 00:08:15,596 --> 00:08:18,274 - SMART? - WHAT HAPPENED? 129 00:08:18,298 --> 00:08:21,844 YOUR CHIEF WAS JUST SILENCED BY A PISTOL BUTT! 130 00:08:21,868 --> 00:08:23,846 THAT'S A LITTLE DRASTIC, ISN'T IT, SIEGFRIED? 131 00:08:23,870 --> 00:08:25,848 COULDN'T YOU HAVE JUST SHUSHED HIM? 132 00:08:25,872 --> 00:08:28,184 WE DON'T SHUSH HERE! 133 00:08:28,208 --> 00:08:30,186 I WILL FINISH YOUR CONVERSATION FOR HIM 134 00:08:30,210 --> 00:08:32,021 WHEN WE MEET. 135 00:08:32,045 --> 00:08:33,489 ONE HOUR FROM NOW, 136 00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:36,159 AT THE SOUTHEAST CORNER OF POTOMAC PARK, 137 00:08:36,183 --> 00:08:38,482 JUST THE TWO OF US. 138 00:08:40,319 --> 00:08:42,297 I'M GOING TO MEET SIEGFRIED. 139 00:08:42,321 --> 00:08:44,533 - MAX, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO MEET HIM ALONE. - YES, I AM. 140 00:08:44,557 --> 00:08:46,568 NO, MAX, HE'S A KAOS MAN, 141 00:08:46,592 --> 00:08:48,971 A THIEF, A KIDNAPPER, MAYBE A KILLER. 142 00:08:48,995 --> 00:08:53,230 99, SOMETIMES YOU JUST HAVE TO GO ON TRUST. 143 00:08:57,403 --> 00:09:00,416 MAXWELL SMART? 144 00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:02,852 SIEGFRIED THE GREAT? 145 00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:06,388 - WHAT WAS THAT? - I THINK I JUST BROKE MY SHOE PHONE. 146 00:09:06,412 --> 00:09:09,158 SHALL WE PROCEED WITH OUR LITTLE TALK? 147 00:09:09,182 --> 00:09:11,461 JUST A MOMENT, SIEGFRIED. 148 00:09:11,485 --> 00:09:14,063 - ARE YOU ARMED? - OF COURSE NOT. 149 00:09:14,087 --> 00:09:17,127 WHAT'S THE MATTER? DON'T YOU TRUST ME, SMART? 150 00:09:18,858 --> 00:09:23,238 THAT'S THE WAY YOU COME TO A PEACEFUL MEETING. 151 00:09:23,262 --> 00:09:25,730 YOU OUGHTA BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF, SIEGFRIED. 152 00:09:27,334 --> 00:09:29,400 HOW COULD YOU BE SO SNEAKY... 153 00:09:30,971 --> 00:09:33,349 AND TREACHEROUS? 154 00:09:33,373 --> 00:09:36,552 I SUGGEST WE CHECK ALL WEAPONS. 155 00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:38,509 GOOD IDEA. 156 00:09:44,985 --> 00:09:47,752 - MY REVOLVER. - MY REVOLVER. 157 00:09:52,025 --> 00:09:54,370 MY MACHINE PISTOL. 158 00:09:54,394 --> 00:09:56,105 COME ON, SIEGFRIED. 159 00:09:56,129 --> 00:09:58,496 MY MACHINE PISTOL. 160 00:10:02,002 --> 00:10:03,980 MY SWITCHBLADE KNIFE. 161 00:10:04,004 --> 00:10:06,715 I DON'T HAVE A SWITCHBLADE KNIFE. 162 00:10:06,739 --> 00:10:09,507 - HERE, I HAVE AN EXTRA ONE. - THANK YOU. 163 00:10:12,279 --> 00:10:13,990 MY BRASS KNUCKLES. 164 00:10:14,014 --> 00:10:16,514 MY BRASS KNUCKLES. 165 00:10:18,118 --> 00:10:22,031 AND MY XKE500. 166 00:10:22,055 --> 00:10:25,034 I HAVE NEVER SEEN A WEAPON LIKE THIS BEFORE. 167 00:10:25,058 --> 00:10:28,004 - MAY I? - BE MY GUEST. 168 00:10:28,028 --> 00:10:30,039 IT SHOOTS DUMDUM BULLETS. 169 00:10:30,063 --> 00:10:33,209 IT CAN RIP A HOLE ON A MAN THE SIZE OF AN ASHCAN COVER. 170 00:10:33,233 --> 00:10:36,545 NASTY LITTLE WEAPON! CONTROL ISSUE? 171 00:10:36,569 --> 00:10:40,349 DON'T BE SILLY, CONTROL WOULD NEVER ISSUE A WEAPON AS VICIOUS AS THIS. 172 00:10:40,373 --> 00:10:43,419 I GOT IT FROM A MAIL-ORDER HOUSE IN CHICAGO. 173 00:10:43,443 --> 00:10:46,244 WELL, THAT'S IT. 174 00:10:47,513 --> 00:10:50,448 CAREFUL, THAT'S MY EXPLODING WALLET. 175 00:10:52,886 --> 00:10:55,186 WHERE'S YOURS? 176 00:10:56,256 --> 00:10:58,723 I MUST HAVE LEFT IT IN MY OTHER PANTS. 177 00:10:59,793 --> 00:11:02,627 HERE, I HAVE MY SUICIDE PILL. 178 00:11:03,696 --> 00:11:06,041 IT'S RASPBERRY THIS MONTH. 179 00:11:06,065 --> 00:11:08,710 - WANNA TRY IT? - NO, THANKS. 180 00:11:08,734 --> 00:11:11,602 - GO AHEAD, IT'S NOT HABIT-FORMING. - NO! 181 00:11:13,773 --> 00:11:15,751 WHERE'S YOUR SUICIDE CAPSULE? 182 00:11:15,775 --> 00:11:18,788 THIS IS MY SUICIDE RING. 183 00:11:18,812 --> 00:11:20,990 I WILL HAVE TO KEEP IT ON. 184 00:11:21,014 --> 00:11:23,951 A SUICIDE WEDDING RING? HOW DOES THAT WORK? 185 00:11:23,975 --> 00:11:25,160 THROUGH MY WIFE. 186 00:11:25,184 --> 00:11:28,297 SHE TOLD ME IF I EVER TAKE IT OFF, SHE WILL KILL ME. 187 00:11:28,321 --> 00:11:31,233 ALL RIGHT, ENOUGH OF THIS, SIEGFRIED. LET'S GET DOWN TO BUSINESS. 188 00:11:31,257 --> 00:11:34,904 - WHAT'S YOUR PROPOSITION? - IF YOU WISH TO GET YOUR CHIEF BACK, SMART, 189 00:11:34,928 --> 00:11:38,774 YOU WILL DELIVER TO ME THE X11. 190 00:11:38,798 --> 00:11:41,877 THE X... THE X11?! 191 00:11:41,901 --> 00:11:43,879 THAT'S OUT OF THE QUESTION, SIEGFRIED! 192 00:11:43,903 --> 00:11:47,471 I CAN'T GIVE YOU THE X11! NO, SIR! NO X11! 193 00:11:48,642 --> 00:11:52,021 BY THE WAY, SIEGFRIED, WHAT IS THE X11? 194 00:11:52,045 --> 00:11:55,424 YOUR COUNTRY'S LATEST DEFENSE DEVICE! 195 00:11:55,448 --> 00:11:58,227 OH... YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK, SIEGFRIED? 196 00:11:58,251 --> 00:12:01,130 I DON'T THINK YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT THE X11 IS. 197 00:12:01,154 --> 00:12:05,467 THE X11 IS AN ALL NEW LASER-POWERED MISSILE DETECTOR. 198 00:12:05,491 --> 00:12:09,271 IT'S 12"x14"x4", IT'S COMPLETELY PORTABLE, 199 00:12:09,295 --> 00:12:11,273 WEIGHING ONLY TWO LBS. EIGHT AND A HALF OZ. 200 00:12:11,297 --> 00:12:13,509 AND THERE ARE EXACTLY THREE OF THEM EXISTENT, 201 00:12:13,533 --> 00:12:16,013 ONE BEING IN THE SAFE IN YOUR CHIEF'S OFFICE! 202 00:12:16,870 --> 00:12:19,015 IF YOU'RE SO SMART, 203 00:12:19,039 --> 00:12:21,806 HOW COME YOU LOST TWO WORLD WARS? 204 00:12:24,410 --> 00:12:26,656 YOU HAVE MY DEAL, SMART. 205 00:12:26,680 --> 00:12:29,525 DELIVER ONE X11 TO ME 206 00:12:29,549 --> 00:12:32,461 AND I WILL DELIVER ONE LIVE CONTROL CHIEF TO YOU. AGREED? 207 00:12:32,485 --> 00:12:34,196 AGREED. WHERE AND WHEN? 208 00:12:34,220 --> 00:12:38,156 RIGHT HERE, ONE HOUR FROM NOW. 209 00:12:40,226 --> 00:12:42,338 BETTER MAKE THAT TWO HOURS. 210 00:12:42,362 --> 00:12:45,330 IT WILL TAKE US AN HOUR TO PUT ALL THIS JUNK AWAY. 211 00:12:54,140 --> 00:12:55,918 THINK WE'LL GET AWAY WITH IT, MAX? 212 00:12:55,942 --> 00:12:58,509 I CERTAINLY HOPE SO, FOR THE CHIEF'S SAKE. 213 00:12:59,579 --> 00:13:01,512 SMART! 214 00:13:05,484 --> 00:13:07,129 DID IT AGAIN. 215 00:13:07,153 --> 00:13:09,098 - DID YOU BRING THE CHIEF? - JA! 216 00:13:12,658 --> 00:13:15,304 DID YOU BRING THE X11? 217 00:13:15,328 --> 00:13:17,273 YES, I HAVE IT RIGHT HERE. 218 00:13:17,297 --> 00:13:18,729 THROW IT TO ME. 219 00:13:21,601 --> 00:13:23,841 NOW YOU THROW ME THE CHIEF. 220 00:13:25,772 --> 00:13:27,283 YOU DID IT, MAX. 221 00:13:27,307 --> 00:13:29,874 YES, I GAVE HIM A DUMMY X11. 222 00:13:31,177 --> 00:13:33,745 AND HE GAVE ME A DUMMY CHIEF. 223 00:13:44,490 --> 00:13:47,024 YES, SIEGFRIED, I UNDERSTAND PERFECTLY. 224 00:13:49,528 --> 00:13:51,640 WHAT DID HE SAY, MAX? 225 00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:55,477 HE SAYS THAT UNLESS I DELIVER THE REAL X11 TO HIM WITHIN TWO HOURS, 226 00:13:55,501 --> 00:13:57,146 HE'S GOING TO KILL THE CHIEF. 227 00:13:57,170 --> 00:13:59,148 WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO, MAX? 228 00:13:59,172 --> 00:14:01,416 WE CAN'T EXCHANGE THE X11 FOR THE CHIEF. 229 00:14:01,440 --> 00:14:05,554 NO, BUT WE CAN EXCHANGE THE MOST IMPORTANT IN KAOS MAN FOR HIM. 230 00:14:05,578 --> 00:14:08,057 - KARL DANKER. - THEIR NUMBER ONE ASSASSIN. 231 00:14:08,081 --> 00:14:09,892 - YES. - BUT HOW ARE WE GOING TO DO THAT, MAX? 232 00:14:09,916 --> 00:14:12,494 WE DON'T HAVE KARL DANKER. 233 00:14:12,518 --> 00:14:16,065 WE WILL, 99. I'M GOING OUT AND FIND HIM AND BRING HIM IN. 234 00:14:16,089 --> 00:14:18,200 OH, MAX, PLEASE BE CAREFUL. 235 00:14:18,224 --> 00:14:20,870 KARL DANKER HAS KILLED 19 CONTROL AGENTS ALREADY 236 00:14:20,894 --> 00:14:22,938 AND AVOIDED CAPTURE EVERY TIME. 237 00:14:22,962 --> 00:14:25,374 HE'S TRICKY AND SHOWS NO MERCY, MAX. 238 00:14:25,398 --> 00:14:28,878 YOU'LL BE IN EXTREME DANGER EVERY MINUTE. 239 00:14:29,202 --> 00:14:31,836 AND LOVING IT. 240 00:14:40,246 --> 00:14:42,746 DANKER, FREEZE RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE. 241 00:14:44,483 --> 00:14:47,351 ALL RIGHT NOW, TURN AROUND SLOWLY. 242 00:14:49,622 --> 00:14:52,367 WELL, DANKER, I FINALLY GOT YOU. 243 00:14:52,391 --> 00:14:55,504 YOU'VE ESCAPED CAPTURE BY CONTROL 19 TIMES, 244 00:14:55,528 --> 00:14:57,172 20. 245 00:14:57,196 --> 00:14:59,007 20? 246 00:14:59,031 --> 00:15:00,798 THEY TOLD ME 19. 247 00:15:11,744 --> 00:15:14,611 SMART'S RIGHT BEHIND ME. CATCH HIM AS HE COMES IN. 248 00:15:20,220 --> 00:15:23,254 SORRY ABOUT THAT, FATHEAD. 249 00:15:32,899 --> 00:15:36,667 YOU BETTER GIVE UP, DANKER. THIS BUILDING IS SURROUNDED BY 40 CONTROL AGENTS! 250 00:15:39,172 --> 00:15:41,105 WOULD YOU BELIEVE 30? 251 00:15:44,244 --> 00:15:48,123 ONE ANGRY BOY SCOUT? 252 00:15:48,147 --> 00:15:50,347 GIRL SCOUT? 253 00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:24,459 NOW, YOU'RE GONNA GET IT THE HARD WAY. 254 00:16:24,483 --> 00:16:26,762 HAVE YOU EVER USED ONE OF THOSE THINGS BEFORE, DANKER? 255 00:16:26,786 --> 00:16:28,564 - NO. - WELL, 256 00:16:28,588 --> 00:16:31,934 WHY DON'T I COME BACK A LITTLE LATER, AFTER YOU'VE HAD A CHANCE TO PRACTICE? 257 00:16:31,958 --> 00:16:34,358 THERE'S NOT GONNA BE ANY LATER. 258 00:16:37,797 --> 00:16:41,598 THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE, DANKER. YOU WANNA BE FRIENDS? 259 00:16:43,569 --> 00:16:45,502 HOLD IT! 260 00:16:47,740 --> 00:16:49,684 UH, LISTEN, I... 261 00:16:49,708 --> 00:16:53,144 I HOPE I WASN'T OUT OF LINE WITH THAT CRACK ABOUT FATHEAD. 262 00:17:03,790 --> 00:17:07,424 WELL, FELLA, I GUESS IT'S JUST NOT YOUR DAY. 263 00:17:14,867 --> 00:17:17,612 WELL, 99, I HAVE DANKER 264 00:17:17,636 --> 00:17:19,614 SAFELY TUCKED AWAY IN SECURITY. 265 00:17:19,638 --> 00:17:23,118 GOOD WORK, MAX. SIEGFRIED HASN'T CALLED YET. 266 00:17:23,142 --> 00:17:26,043 THAT MUST BE HIM. 267 00:17:27,680 --> 00:17:31,660 - HELLO? SMART HERE. - THIS IS SIEGFRIED. 268 00:17:31,684 --> 00:17:35,764 ARE YOU GOING TO GIVE ME THE X11, 269 00:17:35,788 --> 00:17:38,266 OR DOES YOUR YOUR CHIEF DIE? 270 00:17:38,290 --> 00:17:40,836 NEITHER. YOU GIVE ME BACK THE CHIEF 271 00:17:40,860 --> 00:17:43,004 AND I'LL GIVE YOU BACK KARL DANKER, 272 00:17:43,028 --> 00:17:45,641 YOUR NUMBER ONE KILLER. I JUST CAPTURED HIM. 273 00:17:45,665 --> 00:17:49,211 WELL, THIS PUTS A CRIMP IN MY PLANS. 274 00:17:49,235 --> 00:17:52,647 NOW YOU HAVE OUR TOP MAN AND WE HAVE YOURS... IT'S A STALEMATE. 275 00:17:52,671 --> 00:17:56,173 I WOULDN'T COUNT ON THAT, SMART. 276 00:18:04,383 --> 00:18:06,495 HELLO, IS THIS THE ANSWERING SERVICE? 277 00:18:06,519 --> 00:18:09,999 DO YOU HAVE KIDNAPPING MESSAGES FOR MAXWELL SMART? 278 00:18:10,023 --> 00:18:13,169 37... UH, TEAR THAT UP. I ALREADY HAVE THAT INFORMATION. 279 00:18:13,193 --> 00:18:15,537 UH, WHAT'S YOUR COUNT? 280 00:18:15,561 --> 00:18:17,907 SIX OF OURS AND THREE OF THEIRS? 281 00:18:17,931 --> 00:18:20,198 OH, THANK YOU. 282 00:18:29,408 --> 00:18:31,620 HELLO? OH HI, 99. 283 00:18:31,644 --> 00:18:33,622 NO, WE'RE DOING PRETTY GOOD. 284 00:18:33,646 --> 00:18:36,992 I THINK WE'RE AHEAD. YEAH, WE HAVE 27 OF THEIRS 285 00:18:37,016 --> 00:18:39,795 AND THEY HAVE 26 OF OURS. 286 00:18:39,819 --> 00:18:43,532 HELLO? 99? 287 00:18:43,556 --> 00:18:45,789 99?! 288 00:18:50,830 --> 00:18:53,464 OKAY, THAT'S IT. HOLD IT RIGHT THERE. 289 00:18:55,301 --> 00:18:59,548 NOW, KAOS HAS 99, BUT I HAVE YOU, MISS DVORCHECK. 290 00:18:59,572 --> 00:19:01,683 AND THAT PUTS US ONE UP ON KAOS. 291 00:19:01,707 --> 00:19:03,685 NOW, IF SIEGFRIED WANTS YOU BACK, 292 00:19:03,709 --> 00:19:06,021 HE'LL HAVE TO GIVE US 99. 293 00:19:06,045 --> 00:19:08,023 BUT I WOULD RATHER STAY HERE WITH YOU. 294 00:19:08,047 --> 00:19:10,025 THAT'S OUT OF THE QUESTION. 295 00:19:12,352 --> 00:19:15,286 WELL, OF COURSE THESE EXCHANGES DO TAKE TIME. 296 00:19:16,356 --> 00:19:19,034 OF COURSE YOU KNOW WHY I ASKED 297 00:19:19,058 --> 00:19:22,171 - FOR THIS MEETING, SMART. - OF COURSE. 298 00:19:22,195 --> 00:19:25,274 - WE'VE BOTH RUN OUT OF AGENTS. - EXACTLY. 299 00:19:25,298 --> 00:19:27,977 I HAVE ALL THE CONTROL PERSONNEL, 300 00:19:28,001 --> 00:19:30,445 AND YOU HAVE ALL THE KAOS PERSONNEL. 301 00:19:30,469 --> 00:19:33,249 RIGHT, AND IT WOULDN'T DO ANY GOOD OUR KIDNAPPING EACH OTHER 302 00:19:33,273 --> 00:19:35,451 BECAUSE THERE'D BE NOBODY LEFT TO DO THE NEGOTIATING. 303 00:19:35,475 --> 00:19:37,819 EXACTLY. SHALL WE START? 304 00:19:37,843 --> 00:19:40,122 OKAY, A STRAIGHT TRADE... 305 00:19:40,146 --> 00:19:42,324 OUR CHIEF FOR YOUR ASSASSIN DANKER. 306 00:19:42,348 --> 00:19:45,227 AGREED. NOW, WE GIVE YOU BACK 307 00:19:45,251 --> 00:19:47,896 YOUR LAB MAN FOR OUR LAB MAN. 308 00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:51,099 HOLD ON, SIEGFRIED, EVERYBODY IN THE ESPIONAGE BUSINESS KNOWS 309 00:19:51,123 --> 00:19:53,635 THAT OUR LAB MAN IS THE TOP MAN IN HIS PROFESSION. 310 00:19:53,659 --> 00:19:55,137 THEN WHAT DO YOU WANT? 311 00:19:55,161 --> 00:19:59,508 OUR LAB MAN FOR YOUR LAB MAN, AND YOU GIVE US $10,000 IN CASH. 312 00:19:59,532 --> 00:20:01,510 THIS IS RIDICULOUS! 313 00:20:01,534 --> 00:20:04,012 KAOS DOES NOT MAKE CASH DEALS. 314 00:20:04,036 --> 00:20:06,448 WELL, I HAVE AN ALTERNATE OFFER. 315 00:20:06,472 --> 00:20:08,250 LET'S SEE NOW... 316 00:20:08,274 --> 00:20:10,452 WE'RE A LITTLE WEAK IN THE ADMINISTRATION DEPARTMENT 317 00:20:10,476 --> 00:20:13,755 SO I'LL TELL YOU WHAT WE'LL DO... WE'LL FORGET ABOUT THE $10,000. 318 00:20:13,779 --> 00:20:16,391 YOU GIVE US YOUR HEAD BOOKKEEPER AND A MINOR ACCOUNTANT 319 00:20:16,415 --> 00:20:19,495 AND OPTIONS ON TWO OF YOUR BEST GARAGE MECHANICS. 320 00:20:19,519 --> 00:20:21,229 THIS SOUNDS FAIR. 321 00:20:21,253 --> 00:20:24,466 WE NEED SOME HELP IN THE CODING SECTION. 322 00:20:24,490 --> 00:20:28,169 HOW ABOUT GIVING US SMITHERS IN YOUR DECIPHERING DEPARTMENT, 323 00:20:28,193 --> 00:20:30,305 AND THE FIRST CHOICE ON THE TWO BEST MEN GRADUATING 324 00:20:30,329 --> 00:20:31,974 FROM YOUR TRAINING SCHOOL? 325 00:20:31,998 --> 00:20:33,709 NO DEAL! 326 00:20:33,733 --> 00:20:36,044 WE DON'T GIVE AWAY OUR TRAINEES. 327 00:20:36,068 --> 00:20:39,214 FORGET IT, SMART. THIS COULD GO ON ALL DAY. 328 00:20:39,238 --> 00:20:41,684 LET US WAIT. 329 00:20:41,708 --> 00:20:44,620 YOUR CHIEF FOR DANKER AND WE WILL GET TO THE REST LATER. 330 00:20:44,644 --> 00:20:46,288 OKAY. 331 00:20:46,312 --> 00:20:50,381 IN ONE HOUR THEN, AT OUR WAREHOUSE. 332 00:20:53,018 --> 00:20:54,952 HOLD IT. 333 00:21:01,661 --> 00:21:04,306 - HELLO, MAX. GOOD TO SEE YOU. - GOOD TO SEE YOU, CHIEF. 334 00:21:04,330 --> 00:21:06,375 - DANKER. - SIEGFRIED. 335 00:21:06,399 --> 00:21:08,477 ALL RIGHT SIEGFRIED, HOW DO WE HANDLE THIS? 336 00:21:08,501 --> 00:21:11,747 - RELEASE DANKER. - YOU RELEASE THE CHIEF. 337 00:21:11,771 --> 00:21:15,384 - I DON'T TRUST YOU. - I DON'T TRUST YOU EITHER. 338 00:21:15,408 --> 00:21:18,053 - ARE YOU ARMED? - IF YOU LIKE, 339 00:21:18,077 --> 00:21:20,011 FRISK ME. 340 00:21:23,049 --> 00:21:24,982 NOW YOU. 341 00:21:26,619 --> 00:21:28,364 WELL, ARE YOU SATISFIED, SIEGFRIED? 342 00:21:28,388 --> 00:21:30,832 VERY WELL, I WILL RELEASE THE CHIEF. 343 00:21:30,856 --> 00:21:32,990 AND I WILL RELEASE DANKER. 344 00:21:40,966 --> 00:21:42,177 ALL RIGHT? 345 00:21:42,201 --> 00:21:44,134 ALL RIGHT. 346 00:21:47,273 --> 00:21:48,583 OKAY, THAT'S IT. 347 00:21:48,607 --> 00:21:51,720 AND NOW JUST TO SHOW YOU THERE ARE NO HARD FEELINGS, 348 00:21:51,744 --> 00:21:55,223 A LITTLE MAGIC TRICK. 349 00:21:55,247 --> 00:21:57,726 HEY LOOK, CHIEF, IT'S A RABBIT. 350 00:21:57,750 --> 00:21:59,983 OBSERVE THIS. 351 00:22:01,821 --> 00:22:02,901 HANDS UP! 352 00:22:04,456 --> 00:22:08,570 THE OLD GUN-IN-THE-RABBIT TRICK AND I FELL FOR IT. 353 00:22:08,594 --> 00:22:09,905 UP UP! 354 00:22:09,929 --> 00:22:13,396 WELL, SIEGFRIED, MAGIC IS A TWO-WAY STREET. 355 00:22:15,334 --> 00:22:17,613 OKAY, SIEGFRIED, IT'S MY TURN. 356 00:22:17,637 --> 00:22:21,371 BIG DEAL. IT'S ONLY A MAGIC GUN. 357 00:22:24,210 --> 00:22:28,223 THE OLD LIGHTER-IN-THE-GUN- IN-THE-RABBIT TRICK. 358 00:22:28,247 --> 00:22:31,059 YOU WILL NOW RELEASE THE REST OF MY KAOS AGENTS, 359 00:22:31,083 --> 00:22:33,729 AND I WILL RELEASE THE REST OF YOUR CONTROL AGENTS. 360 00:22:33,753 --> 00:22:37,132 - I DON'T TRUST YOU. - I DON'T TRUST YOU EITHER. 361 00:22:37,156 --> 00:22:39,467 OKAY, I'VE GOT A SUGGESTION THAT WILL GUARANTEE 362 00:22:39,491 --> 00:22:41,292 WE BOTH LIVE UP TO THE BARGAIN. 363 00:22:42,394 --> 00:22:44,506 - WHAT?! - HOSTAGES... 364 00:22:44,530 --> 00:22:48,176 YOU LEAVE DANKER WITH ME, AND I'LL LEAVE THE CHIEF WITH YOU. RIGHT, CHIEF? 365 00:22:48,200 --> 00:22:50,044 - WRONG, MAX. - "WRONG, MAX." 366 00:22:50,068 --> 00:22:53,047 OKAY, HOW ABOUT THIS? I'LL GO WITH DANKER 367 00:22:53,071 --> 00:22:55,584 AND YOU GO WITH SIEGFRIED. 368 00:22:55,608 --> 00:22:58,320 DO YOU WANNA GO WITH DANKER? I'LL GO WITH SIEGFRIED. 369 00:22:58,344 --> 00:23:00,688 DO YOU WANNA GO WITH DANKER AND SIEGFRIED? 370 00:23:00,712 --> 00:23:03,858 WELL, HOW ABOUT ME GOING WITH DANKER AND SIEGFRIED? 371 00:23:03,882 --> 00:23:06,116 JUST YOU AND I, HUH, CHIEF? 372 00:23:13,358 --> 00:23:15,671 THE MASS EXCHANGE SEEMS TO BE GOING ALL RIGHT, MAX. 373 00:23:15,695 --> 00:23:17,627 PERFECT, CHIEF. 374 00:23:19,464 --> 00:23:22,878 Max: CONTROL AGENT HARRIS FOR KAOS AGENT, HEINICKE. 375 00:23:22,902 --> 00:23:26,804 CONTROL AGENT BLACKHAWK FOR KAOS AGENT BODIE. 376 00:23:29,809 --> 00:23:33,288 MR. STANDISH, I WOULD LIKE TO APOLOGIZE 377 00:23:33,312 --> 00:23:35,490 FOR THE BLOW TO YOUR EAR WHEN I KIDNAPPED YOU. 378 00:23:35,514 --> 00:23:37,492 I HOPE YOU DIDN'T IMPAIR YOUR HEARING. 379 00:23:37,516 --> 00:23:40,083 - WHAT? - NEVER MIND. 380 00:23:45,057 --> 00:23:46,868 HI, 99. NICE TO HAVE YOU BACK. 381 00:23:46,892 --> 00:23:50,572 I'M SURE IT IS, MAX. I JUST SPOKE TO MISS DVORCHECK. 382 00:23:50,596 --> 00:23:53,130 SHE'S A LIAR, 99. 383 00:23:55,601 --> 00:23:59,548 - AUF WIEDERSEHEN, SMART. - SO LONG, SIEGFRIED. 384 00:23:59,572 --> 00:24:01,517 AND FROM NOW ON, 385 00:24:01,541 --> 00:24:04,542 LEAVE THE SPYING TO US. 386 00:24:05,744 --> 00:24:07,488 HAVE WE GOT ALL OUR AGENTS, MAX? 387 00:24:07,512 --> 00:24:10,380 I THINK SO, CHIEF, BUT I'LL DOUBLE-CHECK JUST TO MAKE SURE. 388 00:24:14,753 --> 00:24:16,731 - YES, THEY'RE ALL HERE. - THEN LET'S GO. 389 00:24:16,755 --> 00:24:17,933 - WE CAN'T. - WHY NOT? 390 00:24:17,957 --> 00:24:20,490 SIEGFRIED KIDNAPPED OUR BUS DRIVER.